Blood Clots

It's all about strokes these days.

In fact, the other day, I was watching a video of a neuroanatomist who had a stroke. She had a big clot in the left hemisphere of her brain, and one morning she woke up to realize she couldn't speak/ understand language/ the boundries of her body, etc.
She was happy, for a moment, she said.

I mean, when you think about it, she's clearly saying that the left side or the "analytical side" of the brain is Jewish. We'd all be secretly happy if it were gone.

I recently read a study comparing the left side of the brain to a Jew on ritalin.
One patient who had a clot on his right hemisphere, exhibited extreme emotional discomfort and irritation, and at one point, it was noted, he yelled "please, for the love of god, stop talking". When the patient was asked who was talking, he replied, "I don't know her name, but she has a nasaly voice and, for some reason, I feel she has a big nose." He continued, "She asked why I wasn't in graduate school. 'Your brother Joshua has a PHD!', the woman kept yelling. And then she went on about the holocaust, and diet soda. I couldn't make her stop."

In conclusion, if I lost the left side of my brain, would that make me a Christian by default? Because I would be fine with that.

Maybe Christianity needs to expand their conversion process to include the induction of blood clots. Because, come on, a fucking priest waving a stick over my head and sprinkling water on my face isn't going to erase 23 years of guilt. A stroke will.