Things That I Cannot Deal With

Living in Tel Aviv after college is not as sponatenous as the idea. At first, you are more concerned with getting the fuck out of New York than you are with having another life somewhere else. And then you get to Israel, where, very shortly after you realize you're dealing with a higher ratio of incompetent people than you dealt with in the states. Two months later, your boss agrees to increase your pathetic salary by a shekel. That's when you start to lose control. DO NOT LAUGH, IDIOT. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

Here is a current list of things I cannot deal with

Not Having A Gratifying Job
I'm an underpaid English language teacher. English language teacher. As in, I speak the language I teach, so I'm not learning anything (except that I've started using words I wouldn't normally use in conversation, like "product line" from my Business English class, and "Mr. Bean", from my kids class... You know, the one I've given up teaching alltogether.) I should start stealing.

Being a Jew
Take away the J and all you're left with is "ew". Do you see what I'm getting at here?

Living in an Old Apartment
So many people with unfinished business must have lived here, because when I sit on this rusty toilet at night, I swear I can hear the voice of an old yemenite man whispering " Please don't poop, it's not polite. Shalom".

The Weather is Great, but I Don't go Outside
It's sunny everyday, and everyone is outside. Except me. I'm inside. I'm teaching or I'm in my apartment. Really, I resent the weather and the outdoors. Because they enjoy themselves and other people enjoy them, while I limp around inside all day like a sad Jew creature.

Having an Acute Pot Addiction
I'm just going to go ahead and put it out there. When it's around, I'm around (sometimes I go out of my way to be around.)
Hey, at least I go to the gym (two weeks and strong).